The Chrysalis Home

What I Learned…

We all agree that mama-ing means constantly learning and adapting and changing to take better care of your little one who is also constantly learning and adapting and changing, right? I mean it certainly isn’t static. For me, just with my one, no day is the same as the one previous. I learn something new everyday, either about myself or M or just parenting and ¬†being a mama.

Bearing that in mind, I thought it might be fun to start a new weekly series (inspired in part by fellow Twitter mama @queen_elisheba, check her out at Lollipop Royalty) recounting what I learned over the course of the week about being a mama.

To get the ball rolling, this week I learned:

M changes so much everyday. One day he’s just learning to sit up and seemingly the next he’s launching himself forward, trying to crawl. It happens just that quickly. If I don’t pay attention, I’m going to miss something monumental.

Being present, in the moment with your child, is so important. So often we let ourselves get distracted by screens and media. ¬†Our phones are constantly in hand and we have the instant gratification of being able to tap a screen and instantly connect to the entire world. I am so guilty of ignoring him in favor being connected to everyone else. I look at my phone when he’s nursing, when he’s playing on the floor, when I’m wearing him…my phone is my constant companion. It’s insane.

Last night, as I was nursing him to sleep, I found myself getting irate because Twitter kept freezing. I was getting impatient and frustrated and angry, all while I was trying to get my baby to relax. I was stressing out during what should be a peaceful and calming time because of my phone. I wasn’t present. I wasn’t using this intimate and quiet time to connect with my son. In fact, I was counteracting all the calming and peaceful influences and really just ruining the moment.

I put my phone away and I concentrated on M and my breath. I focused on spending that time with him, soothing him and quieting him and…mothering him. It was one of the most relaxing bedtimes we’ve had and he drifted off to sleep and didn’t wake up again for over an hour. Normally, he wakes up on and off every 15 minutes for the first hour he’s in bed. Just taking that extra step, spending that time, being with him, instead of dealing with him made all the difference and resulted in a happier, more relaxing night for everyone.

It’s so easy to pull out your phone or your tablet or your laptop and connect. As stay at home moms, I know we often feel disconnected and alone, and the pull to talk to people, be around similar women in situations similar to our own, can be a siren call. Don’t let the ease with which that’s possible cause you to disconnect from your main priority and miss out on those precious, once in a lifetime moments. Be present. Be with your kids.


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